Why did Machiavelli say this though? Because love is INTERNAL. He says that you can turn love on or off, I found myself objecting this when I went through a break up and could not get over my ex but comparing this to say my parents... If I get mad at my boyfriend, whom I "love" We can break up and move on but I will always have my parents and I love them and respect them. He uses the basis of fear as synonymous to respect. "Fear is much more predictable and largely externally based. Lovers can fall out easily on a fast downward spiral whim; fear does not wear off if your base character stays the same."
A question we have to ask to compare this is which makes us happier? Love or respect? I know that disrespect is my personal pet peeve.
I think what bugs me about fear, when compared to love, is the outcome, as well as the rooting, of such emotions. Love may be more fragile, more unpredictable, harder to maintain, etc. but it can produce an incredible amount of good things in life through relationships, trust, and understanding. It leaves one vulnerable, and when that vulnerability is respected, acted on rightfully, and supported, there is nothing in the world like that. Love is often, in the moments that it's given, truthful. It has the ability to be transparent. You can be open and free, and when you're loved in return, it's the greatest gift you could receive. The love may not come, but it may in the right circumstances.
ReplyDeleteFear, on the other hand, may be sturdy, respected, easier to produce, and can maintain situations which would otherwise be out of hand. What goes with that fear though? That respect you may receive through fear is not willful - it's a product that's forced out of someone because they are scared. It's illegitimate because it's not freely given - there are other forces that are causing that respect to arise. When one is controlled by fear, they're going off of survival instincts, going with the flow so they won't get hurt or end up in a bad situation. They follow along because of that. The feelings of allegiance are not genuine - they are produced artificially through emotional and psychological manipulation. It may look good on the front end, but its roots are sour and bitter.
So I think Love has the ability to make us happier. In the right circumstances, love will have respect tagged along with it. Respect without love though can be undeserved, fueled by emotions to produce false effects, and can be downright dangerous and hostile.
I think the people I respect the most, and love the most, are NOT people who inspire fear - or need to. But of course I don't live in Medici-era Italy. Not yet. I imagine the current occupant of the White House, our narcissist in chief, imagines (fantasizes) that he can command love and fear through personal intimidation... but his transparent hunger for approval is kind of pathetic.
ReplyDeleteI don't know quite what it means to call love "internal"... I thought the whole point was to transcend separateness, to CONNECT. Maybe you can elaborate a bit in the next installment?